2019 so far…

 

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Oh boy, last time I was here things seemed very different. A lot has changed in the past 6 months which I just don’t have the courage to talk about. Crazy how 6 months can change your world upside down. One of the major shifts which have happened to me is letting go. You know I was the type of person who’d plan all my actions, plan all my life, my career, my everything. Surprisingly that’s not how it is now…

Looking back I’m surprised to see how calculated I was with my life decisions & how to go about my career. But now feels like I’m a completely different person. I now no longer feel the need to calculate my each and every step of life. I’ve become much easier at letting things go & see where life takes me instead of constantly thinking of what next. How do I feel that out of all of a sudden you might ask, well I’ve been put into situations where the future just didn’t make any sense and all I was left was with now. It’s now or never…

Mentally I feel average. Sometimes I feel absolutely good about the things I’ve been working on currently later I get this anxiety, this anxiety of not knowing the future. It feels weird because I stopped letting things take control of me but still sometimes I feel fear of the future. And if you’ve had anxiety you might know how bad your mind can make you feel. It’s a situation where you are able to control the things but it just feels extremely unpleasant. The only thing which has been keeping me mindful currently is traveling. I’ve been blessed to travel to a handful of places this year. It brings out the joy out of me & brings out the creativity to a whole another level. Last year I penned down my emotions & so many of you related to it. So this time I thought why not write it on my blog instead of my journal. Oh yeah and journaling, that has also helped me a lot to get my mind straight & not go dive into an ocean on anxiety.

Have you ever felt like the whole world is moving & you’re just not doing anything as if like you’re forced to be stuck? Have you ever felt like you’re taking eachday as it is but still the fear of future comes and knocks on your door? Have you ever felt like leaving all of this & go travel the world?

Thank you for listening. Hope to write here soon! xx

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